How is it that I've acquired...

4 loads of laundry in practically as many days. It's not as if I'm rolling in mud or anything. Maybe I'm clean freak.
So, I've been lax in updating, particularly since I had such a lovely weekend in the Catskills with my friends MP, her husband Matthew and their cute, genius-baby Connor. (One of his first words was "exactly" at age 9 months.) Now he's 13 months and on to things like bark (like on a tree), clock and, of course, Daddy, which is what he was calling me by the end of the weekend. I took it as a compliment.

I also got a great taste of small-town life: My friend MP recently wrote a book called Money Can Buy Happiness and she had a book-signing last Saturday to raise funds for the local library. The whole neighborhood showed up despite the fact that it was pouring rain, and she raised around $400.

Dating continues, enjoyment continues. Life gets better in the 40s. It really does.
Ciao--
Paola
Read about MP's fabulous book on Amazon--I'd put the link here if I could figure out how. I'm still a Luddite (or, at least, profoundly techno-challenged,) despite the blog.

The Wild and Wooly Democracy of Craig's List

For the last six months or so, I have been dating people I've met on Craig's List, (abbreviated henceforth as CL)and it's been such an interesting, fun, kind of amazing experience. Much more positive than sites like Match and Nerve and J date. I have a theory about CL, which I am spreading far and wide:
That most people log on to buy or sell a couch or find an apartment, then happen to wander over to the women-seeking-men section "just to browse." So, you end up with a wider cross section of people who are less likely to just obsessively troll dating sites, like kids in a candy store. You also get more variation in terms of age, ethnicity, nationality and in general a quirkier more intellectual more artistically-minded crowd.

That said, there are drawbacks:
1) You have to be very, very, VERY selective. Very. For instance, I usually get 80 or 100 responses to an ad (incredibly ego-gratifying, even if 99 percent are crazies). Of those, maybe I respond to 10, and end up talking to maybe 3 and meeting maybe two. So, process of selection is rigorous but the results are superior.
2) 99 percent are crazies
3) You have to risk exposing your email and photos to a bunch of crazies. Thus the selectivity.

Anyway, all I'm saying is that CL rocks! I'm having a great time and meeting very cool people. Who knew?

Ciao amici--
Paola
P.S.
I don't have any fun photos so I put up one of my favorites from Procida. Una isola bella.

An off-road-girl gets married!

Caroline got married today at Riverbank State Park, right on the mighty Hudson, as my nephews call it. The bride looked lovely in Prada as well as a traditional Korean wedding kimono-type dress. I got to schmooze with some editors, play with MP and Matthew's cute baby, and ride on the top of a double decker tour bus. It was a lot of fun--makes me want to take one of those around NYC--maybe I will do it with Jordan and Caleb. Tonight, more fun in store. Not to be recorded on this blog.
Ciao--
Paola

Home stretch! Yipeeeeeee!

So I got another essay in tonight and it is BEAUTIFUL--so great to have gathered so many amazing essays in one place, for one project. And FUN! My book is due December 1st, and this is what I have left to do:
1) waiting to get and edit 2 essays that are being revised
2) Waiting for 2 more first drafts
3) write up author bio page
4) do final, final polishing
5) figure out order of essays

This last is a tall order. This book, which is about sex in real life--what really goes through women's heads, the gap that so often exists between our expectations and reality--has convinced me that quality of sex does not necessarily have a relationship to a woman's age; sex can be very different for the same person depending on the partner, where they are in their life, how they feel about themselves. You can have boring sex in your 30s and amazing sex in your 40s; older does not equal sexual decline. So, that's a long way of saying that when it comes to organizing the book, I don't want to do it by age. Any category--sex and singles, married sex, post-divorce sex, etc.--feels artificial. I was thinking of organizing the book by the tentative subtitle: getting it, giving it, loving it, missing it, but as time goes on, I'm liking that less and less. And it doesn't work as an organizing principle; I've tried it.

So I am going to try and organize the book in an organic way--like a "playlist" as one of the contributors and a friend, Val Frankel, suggested: You want to start off extremely strong, then have a nice rhythm where the tension builds, then there is some levity, then it builds again, then finally there's a knock your socks off ending. It's going to be a challenge, but I'm hoping to just get in the groove and go with my gut, which seems to be working pretty well, vis a vis this project, so far.

It would be so nice to feel as sure of my gut when it comes to romance as I do when I'm editing something. It's amazing how once two human beings are interacting, there's suddenly room for a wealth of interpretations and possibilities. Speaking of, dating is a whole new thing these days. I'm really loving it. I never thought I would say that. Everything feels lighter and more fun--and I feel lighter, too.
Buona notte--
Paola

By the time we got to Woodstock...

We were half a dozen strong (or so). Spent the past weekend in the Catskills, in the coolest of Catskills towns, though there's something decidedly, uncool-ly touristy about it, too. The farmhouse we rented was a bit lopsided, but had two porches, a good kitchen and plenty of comfy places to sit and sleep. We hiked, walked, sat on the lawn, watched the kids play, searched for foliage, discovered orange mushrooms and salamanders, traded exploits, complaints, confidences, banalities, intimacies. Nice to have a close group of friends as an adult that (for the most part) trusts one another and knows each other's quirks--and still chooses to vacation together! I feel lucky.
So, it may be time to re-enter the wild and wooly democracy of CL. Stay tuned.
Ciao!
Paola

Who, exactly, are the off-road girls?

Well, that's a good question. It's a term Mary-Pat/MP/Mia coined to describe the trio she, Caroline and I have formed over our many years in and out of magazines, relationships and boroughs. We gather periodically (even now that MP is mother to a 1 year old and lives in Andes!) and drink and dissect every detail of our careers and romantic lives. My book was born of this group--we stoke each other's ambitions and give each other permission to act totally debauched for an evening. Evidence to that effect above. Last night, we met in honor of the imminent betrothal of Caroline to John, drank martinis and retired to my place for champagne and chocolate ganache cake to talk about the usual subjects: money, love, fame, fortune and sex!!!! (not necessarily in that order.
Paola
P.S. If you're confused about what I'm trying to do up there, don't worry--so was I!