Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Woman in white



This is my friend and former SELF colleague Stephanie, who recently left the magazine to go to another magazine for a great 3-day a week gig. So now she is enjoying her twins, her husband, her life (and still has a great job). Go, Steph! I'm all for swerving off the crazy 9-7 work path; after two months in Italy, it's amazing how much better I feel. I think everyone should take a 2 month sabbatical every other year. Workplaces would be much more productive, employees would be much more relaxed.

So, I think I must have had the world's shortest stint of online dating. I tried it for a few days and found it dispiriting. That's the word--dispiriting. I felt my wonderful post-Rome glow fading the more I focused on match.com. So I made a decision: I'm not going to do it right now. I'll just have to meet someone the old fashioned way until I'm ready to dive into the internet world again. But as of now, I'm not ready. And I feel much better!
Ciao!
Paola

Friday, June 22, 2007

I've reentered the dating scene...


that is, I put up a profile on match.com. I have one thing to say about it: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Paola

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Gelato bellisimo on the Upper West Side

Well, I never thought I'd admit it, but there is a new gelato place on 76th and Broadway called GROM, for the owner, apparently a roman franchise. The gelato is AS good as the best I've tasted in Italy. Truly.
Here's the link. There was a line half a block long tonight, on a Tuesday night, but it was worth it. Go. Wait. Enjoy. Get the medium sized cup. The small is ridiculous.


Good day today. Got a check up, blood pressure down (110/70), strength up, mood up--all because of two months in Italy! I wish I could do it every year. I would be a happier person.
Buona notte!
Paola

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

I must be back in my ordinary routine...

because I have very little to blog about today. Does this mean my post-trip happiness is wearing off? It has been a week and two days since my return. I don't feel quite as elated. Is there a way to hold on to this open, expansive, optimistic feeling I have? Is it possible to have that feeling in everyday life? I need to be able to distill the things that felt best about the trip and tap into those habits here. More easy-goingness. Less scheduling. More alone time. More exercise. More art. Better food. Healthier food. Looking at the world with fresh eyes (the way you do when you live in a new place). I can do those things! Now, if only I could sleep til 10 every day and go to bed at 2 am. On a positive note: I got to tuck my nephews in tonight! None of THAT in Italy.
Buona notte!
Paola

Monday, June 18, 2007

Babies, babies everywhere, and not a drop to...






Would you believe the man is this photograph was once a wildly carousing BACHELOR? That's what love and marriage does to you!
This is my firend Gregg, and I spent a lovely Hamptons weekend at the rented home of him and his wife Sheri, along with some extended family. I think I've been pretty good about not posting any baby pics on this blog so far, considering that upwards of 10 close friends of mine have had first babies in the past two years. Forty-three is the new twenty-three, at least when it comes to babies. I feel compelled to do a baby tally in my circle:
Lisa: twin boys
Pam: preggers
Diana: gave birth last week
Noreen: son
MP: son
Laura K.: son
David B.: son
plus 11 other people at SELF magazine (that number is growing, along with the bellies around me).
Bunoa notte
Paola

Friday, June 15, 2007

Do you BELIEVE this is Queens?






Believe it! This is the kitchen and back garden of SELF's lovely director of copy, Wendy, who was nice enough to invite a few of us for lunch and wine (her husband works at a wine magazine, so that is a very good thing!) The two of them have managed to create a bucolic, Hamptonesque retreat (without the snootiness) in Forest Hills, Queens, complete with vegetable patch and a "cabin" transformed from a former garage. Proof that Queens in underrated as a borough.

So, I got through my first week at work, post Italia. I am very tired, but still have the wide, expansive happy feeling that I got off the plane with. Now I just have to figure out how find time to do my book and exercise!!!! (And maybe go on some dates. Maybe.)
Buona notte!
Paola

Thursday, June 14, 2007

A waterbug the size of a baby shoe




Yes, I was on the phone when one crawled along my kitchen wall and disappeared behind the stove. It truly was as large as a small mouse. Guess it's time for the exterminator--one thing that didn't happen while I was in Italy.

There are some things you just need a man for:

1) To kill a giant waterbug
2) To put large boxes and suitcases on the top shelf of the closet
3) To get things down from that closet
4) To change high-off-the-ground light bulbs
5) To trouble shoot computer problems and often get them right!

Ah, it is still a sexist world out there. But I am lacking in many typically testosterone-fueled traits, including spatial relations (I have the worst sense of direction of anyone I know or have ever met) and upper body strength. (I have strong glutes, an estrogen-fueled trait). What can I do? I just wish there was someone available to kill this grotesquely huge waterbug!

Amore
Paola

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Not in Rome and still at home



Well, I'm managing to emerge from my process of reimmersion long enough to update this blog, of which I've become quite fond. So. Transformation. I have a different view on transformation since I've been home for a scant three days. Though I didn't feel as if I was changing in any way while I was in Rome (other than becoming more adept at map reading), now that I'm back in NYC and at work, I feel altered in a wonderful way, more expansive, more relaxed, more aware of what I love about NYC, about the people I work with. It is so nice to be able to live in a paradise-like city such as Rome for several months, and not feeling sad upon returning. I like my life, my apartment (especially my apartment compared to the plaster-dust-covered, chipped-crockery and stained comforter filled miniscule flat in Trastevere. I feel as if I'm living in the lap of luxury, with all my things around me.

I also feel so happy to be at work--the fact that the people at SELF enabled me to go on this fantastic trip makes me feel very grateful (a key factor in happiness, research shows) and overflowing with good will. And I got such a warm welcome--hugs, kisses, beautiful flowers--it felt wonderful. Because they let me go, I was able to come back feeling fulfilled and rested and happily ready to bust my butt for them, in the best possible way.

In case this is becoming annoyingly Pollyanna-ish, I will try to strike a lighter note with the following reflections:

Differences between Rome and NYC:
1) NYers stand on subway platforms obsessively checking their CrackBerry's, emailing their bosses. Italians stand on subway platforms obsessing checing their cell phones for text messages about where to meet for a coffee.

2) NYers are scheduled to the gills, several weeks in advance. I was most guilty of this. Italians tend to play socializing more by ear, inviting each other to "stop by for a coffee some time" or issue a dinner invite at the last minute. It helped me feel a bit looser and hopefully will help me refrain a bit from planning every minute of my time.

3) The strawberries in Italy are small and sweet; the strawberries in NYC are large and tasteless.

4) Coffee, restaurants, bottled water are all cheaper in Manhattan than in Rome, all thanks to the Euro.

5) You will never see an Italian man wearing khaki shorts and sneakers with sweat socks. No. Not done.

6) You will never see an Italian women doing errands on a Saturday in sweats, with unbrushed hair and no makeup. Or in khaki shorts and sneakers. Schlumpy-ness reigns on the Upper West Side!

One big lesson I learned: The most gratifying, fantastic thing about this whole experience was asking for a leave--something that was going to inconvenience my coworkers--and actually get it. Asking for things is very difficult for me, especially when someone might be inconvenienced, and that has really gotten me into trouble in romantic relationships. (Translation--I turn into something just short of a doormat.) This has taught me a lesson, in a tangible way, that sometimes, when you ask for things, you get them, because the people around you want to help you feel good or support you. I hope it makes it easier for me to identify what I want and ask for it in love, and in life.

Buona notte!
Paola, at home, tho not in Rome. (I'm not sure I can drop my Italian moniker. Thoughts?

Friday, June 8, 2007

An ordinary (final) day in Roma















The joy of this day was in the ordinariness of my Roman routine. (Look at photos from the bottom up).
First stop: Piazza Sta Maria in Trastevere for due cappucini and a cornetto con marmelata at my favorite coffee place, St. Marzio.
Second stop: Survey the piazza, where Italian TV vans are already parked awaiting Bush's arrival. Wonder how the hell I'm going to get out of here tomorrow.
Third stop: Lavanderia, so I can arrive home with suitcases full of clean clothes.
Fourth stop: Back to Via dela Scala for lunch, where I learn that Bush's trip to Trastevere has been cancelled, since the powers that be have deemed the neighborhood too hard to secure. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY.
Fifth stop: Gelato at Fiore di Luna (which I think is the best place in Rome). My favorite flavor: cocciolato con arrancia (a rich, deep chocolate with bits of blood orange. yum.
Sixth stop: Ponte Sisto bridge, to the historic center to pay homage to some of my favorite places and do some last minute shopping.
Seventh stop: Campo di Fiore
Eighth stop: Piazza Navona
Ninth stop: my favorite monument--the pantheon
Tenth stop (not pictured): Cafe St. Eustachio, widely believed to have the best coffee in Rome.
Eleventh stop: Retrace my steps back over Ponte Sisto. I can never get too many photos of this bridge
Twelfth stop: La Renella, the best bread and pizza shop in Trastevere and perhaps in Rome, for a slice and some fresh bread to make a sandwich for the plane tomorrow.
Thirteenth stop: 15 Via Della Scala--home for one more night.

My friend Sarah, who also lives in Trastevere, just stopped by--I am bequeathing her wine I never got to drink, plus odds and ends I purchased for this apartment. Next stop: around the corner for a pasta at da Lucia, a nice trattoria, for one final traditional Roman meal.

Buona notte!!! Ciao Roma!
Paola

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Not much more than 24 hours left!









Indulged in a surfeit of Roman sculpture and art, gelato and wine today (went to a tasting of wines from Tuscany at the International Wine Academy). And yes, mom and dad, I also did some work! I feel sad and anxious about making the transition back to NYC. Help me, everyone! Fingers crossed that Bush doesn't prevent me from getting to the airport. (Above, some flags in preparation for his visit, and some beauteous marble forms in the Museo Nazionale di Roma.
Ciao!
Paola

Comings and going


I had a hard time getting to Rome (remember the storm and the 300 flights cancelled?) and now I may have a hard time leaving. Bush is coming tomorrow, and on Saturday, is coming to the piazza adjacent to my street. Apparently, the entire neighborhood will be closed off, so I am not sure how the car is going to get in to pick me up (and my massive amount of luggage). I am nervous about it!!! Here is what the paper says:

Meanwhile, the main concern for security officials is a planned trip by Bush on Saturday to the picturesque neighbourhood of Trastevere in the heart of Rome where he intends to visit one of the city's oldest churches, Santa Maria in Trastevere.

The US president is also slated to visit the nearby headquarters of Sant'Egidio, a Catholic organisation known for its mediation efforts in international conflicts.

But Trastevere is a maze of small streets, squares and alleys, making security particularly difficult.

Police are considering setting up a temporary, 10-metre-long tunnel near the Trastevere church which will allow the Bush delegation to travel through the area in greater safety.

Access to the neighbourhood will be blocked on Saturday and rubbish bins and manholes sealed.
Yikes!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Two more days....sob!




My time here is drawing to a close. I had a wonderful day, just wandering around, enjoying the light, finishing up all my gift shopping and just savoring these last hours in bella Roma. I feel sad to leave--how could I not?--but so lucky to have been able to have spent this time here. These last few weeks, especially, have been wonderful; I've done more socializing in Rome and just appreciated everything with that intensity that happens when you know something is about to end. Except I know I will come back here, in some way, and now have many people to potentially swap apartments with!

Am I a changed person? Maybe, in small ways. Here, a list of minor transformations:
1) I can safely say that I (mostly) feel entirely comfortable being alone--eating alone, traveling alone, wandering alone, looking ahead to a weekend with no one to be with by myself. That is a big shift, especially after the break up, when being alone felt extremely uncomfortable. I've really savored this time to myself. I've definitely had some intense bouts of loneliness, but there is something very relaxing and reassuring about knowing that I feel comfortable on my own, that it doesn't trigger any panicky feelings.
2) I feel like a more self confident traveler. I can read a map! I can go from place to place without thinking much about it.
3) I can make myself understood in Italian. And understand--if the person is speaking directly to me and is speaking sloooowly. I feel proud of that.
4) I discovered I actually like to eat fruits and vegetables on a regular basis--they are SO good here. I need to find a farmer's market back in NYC.
5) I can eat gelato every single day, without gaining weight, as long as I walk at least 3-5 hours a day. Hmmm. Not sure that revelation is going to translate once I am back in an office.
6) Seeing amazing art and architecture brings me an incredible amount of pleasure. I knew that already, but will try to fit more museum going into my life back in NYC.
7) I edited nearly 200 pages of my book, and still have six months til the deadline. And I'm still having a lot of fun with it.
8) Sad as I am to leave (and sadder, still, about having to get up with an alarm clock and not being able to roam around all day--in Rome), I am looking forward to getting back to my life in NYC--my job, my colleagues at SELF, my apartment, my friends, my family. I like my life; I've made a nice one for myself and it is good to realize that.
That may be about it. A modest list, but a good one, I think.
Ciao!
Paola (for two more days!)

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Friends, Italian and otherwise

I had my own little cocktail party tonight, with six friends (Italian and British) that I have been spending time with during my sojourn in Rome. We drank wine, ate formaggio, then went to a local trattoria that seemed to meet with the group's approval. Very satisfying. In a short time, I have managed to make a little life here, which makes me very happy. I know I will be back here again--there is something about living here that feels extremely natural and right. Of course, NYC feels that way too, so eventually, I will find a way to live in both places.

Three more days in Rome. How shall I spend them?! A nice thought to drift off to sleep with....
Buona notte!

Monday, June 4, 2007

Jews and Jew-wannabes




So, my stay in Berlin has been extremely intense, in large part because of what I've observed about modern German attitudes toward Judaism, how the Jewish community functions here, the way all things Jewish are kind of publicized and celebrated.
First observation: On Friday night, I went to Shabbat services with my friend, Toby (attending synagogue is a rare occurrence for me, but this synagoge (shown above; the photo with the dome) was partly destroyed during Krystallnacht, closed down by the Nazis, etc. so it really feels meaningful to me to be in there. The rabbi of the congregation is German--she converted to Judaism and within five years, has become a rabbi. Her husband, also non Jewish, also converted. In fact, about half the people in the synagogue were non-Jewish, many of them Germans who had become fascinated with Judaism and ended up converting. This woman rabbi was inducted this weekend, and there was a letter from the prime minister, local politicians, the press--Look! the government seems to be saying: We are a Jew-friendly country. See how liberal we are! Jews are thriving here. Except many of the Jews are Germans, converting to, perhaps, atone for the sins of their parents, trying to replace the population that was exterminated? I had dinner with friends of Toby's last night, and made the comparison to a Jewish version of the Stepford Wives--all the real Jews, with their imperfections, are killed off to be replaced by ultra-fervent German converts. At the synagogue, I met another couple, German, and her husband, German, who both converted and are having a second Jewish wedding, 10 years after they first married. They were among those praying most fervently.

Who am I to say who is and isn't a Jew, given that I rarely go to synagogue, don't keep Kosher and am agnostic in terms of my faith? But sitting in a synagogue in Berlin where half the congregation were tow-haired Germans-turned-gung-ho Jews felt odd, somewhat creepy (to be truthful) and downright STRANGE, as if a different sort of psychosis is now overtaking the German population in place of the psychoses that gripped the people in the 1930s and '40s.
Addendum: My friend Toby would like me to clarify that this high rate of converted synagogue members is unique to her very progressive synagogue. Hmmm. She also wants me to say that of the 120K Jews in Germany, 80% are Russian Jews. So there is your dose of balance. :-)

Another example: My friend and a group of other people launched a European Jewish literary magazine (known as Golem [www.golem-journal.de]; this particular issue was focused on the topic of circumcision. And they had a press conference and journalists came, because again, in my cyncial way, I think that whether consciously or unconsciously, there's a need to both overcompensate for the past horrors and show the world: Look how Jew-friendly we are now!!!!!

Yet. There are moving memorials to the Holocaust all over the city--there is no impulse or attempt to cover up for the past or sweep it under the rug. Quite the opposite--all the monuments exhort citizens to "Never forget!" I think that is admirable, and certainly not something witnessed in the United States (Native Americans, Japanese prison camps being prime examples). And, should the children of people who were alive during the Holocaust be held responsible for their parents' actions? Being here as a Jew evokes very, very mixed emotions.

Other striking things I've noticed: NO ONE jaywalks, even if the street is completely clear as cars as far as the eye can see. So I decided, following rules got the Germans into trouble--I'm going to be the rebellious American and jaywalk when there is no traffic coming.

There is no sense of political-correctness: Browsing in a flea market, there was a section called "black music" and there was a discount store with a cartoon image of a Scotsman in the window--the name was Mac Geiz--a "geiz" is a miser. So basically, the name of this discount store is cheap Scot. Another example: Toby and I were walking in a local neighborhood and we passed a sex toys shop. In the window was a huge floor to ceiling full color poster of two completely naked men embracing, butts in full view, completely embracing each other. It was an ad for a lube, called "Anal Spray" and it was on full display looking out on the street. I couldn't believe it--I took a picture, and wish I could post it here, but those who are curious can ask me individually. :-)

The subways are GREAT. Clean, easy to get around, fast, efficient, user-friendly. And funky--see the seat-cover photographed above--a multi-colored leopard print!)

On another note, I met some of Toby's close friends last night and we had wonderful Ethiopian food and great conversation. One woman is an extremely talented video artist, painter, collage-ist and photographer and I purchased two of her photos. They are so beautiful, I am thrilled to be able to bring them back and have them framed in my living room. (I'll record the results here!)Her name is Deborah Phillips.

In two hours, I am back to Rome. FOUR MORE DAYS.
Paola

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Behold Berlin, new views and old









View from the bottom up:
...a bullet-pocked doorway in east berlin
...a train station with a grim history
...modern design
...a bomb ravaged church
...the view from the top front seat of a double-decker bus
...heavenly cappucino at Cafe Einstein
...pictures at an exhibition

Off to take in more culture!
Paula