A more capacious apartment

After two years on the waiting list, I am now the proud renter of a storage unit in the basement of my building (for $150 a year; shockingly cheap for NYC real estate). So I am spending a good part of the weekend staying in and moving all the boxes I haven't touched in two years in there. I also plan to go through files, store some and eke out more SPACE in my already relatively-roomy one bedroom. I like to think of it as freeing up space for someone to come into my life--rather than filling it, I am going to let it lie and see what ends up on the now-empty shelves. I'm getting New Age in my old age. I'm hoping that I can eventually coax someone who has better spatial relations skills than I to come and help me maximize the space; I'm hoping to fit my bike in there. But for now, feels good to have given a bunch of old stuff the old heave-ho.
Buona sera--
Paola
P.S. Those photos, above, are to document the extra space in my filing cabinet, walk-in closet and coat closet. Nice feeling.

Spending spree, part 2

So, I'm still in reward myself mode. I hope this phase peters out soon, or it could be hazardous to my financial health. Latest treats to me: 12 personal training sessions for $850. If it's something I need to do to look good for my upcoming public speaking, can I tax deduct part of it? Seriously, any accountant types out there, please weigh in.
A new jacket with a hood made of an unidentifiable type of fur--incredibly warm and slim fitting and as sexy as a ski jacket can be.
Two pairs of black pants/jeans that fit like a glove.
So all things that are useful and that have staying power--it has been five years since I last bought a jacket, and 10 years since I've bought a coat. My cashmere coat was a giant splurge--$1000 at Filenes 10 years ago, but now I've had it for 10 years and it's going on strong as a reliable classic with style. My point: It pays to splurge on the stuff that you need and wear often and that is most visible--coats, shoes, bags. (Sorry--the woman's magazine editor part of me is getting a little carried away there!)
A spa day: $130 for a massage and $70 for two day passes to the gym at Reebok Sports Club L.A., an ultra luxurious health club that is almost worth the money--it feels as if you are going to a resort populated with beautiful yet kind people when you go to the gym.
A spa vacation for 4 days with an old friend.
$1000 toward my new ring.
Plus, various and sundry celebrations at nice restaurants. It has been quite fun but my bank account seems to be handling it. It's nice having 3 jobs--there's always a little extra money in the bank!

Buona notte amici--
Paola

My pal Al

That's my dad's name, too. I'm showing him (Al, not my dad) how to blog.
Who knew a techno-phobe like me could actually instruct someone in something computer related?
Ciao--
Paola

The Ring

This is where my limitations as a photographer become apparent: when trying to photograph a small object, indoors, without a flash. But, by popular demand, here is a photograph of the ring--or rather, the BLING--with which I rewarded myself for finishing my book. The diamond was in my grandma's engagement ring--I used that, chose two sapphires from Ceylon (hopefully they don't torture miners there the way they do in Africa), and designed it, from the band to the bevels. It's now the most expensive thing I own, other than my apartment, which I don't really own--the bank does.
I'm enjoying it. It feels warm and heavy on my finger. It's a nice reminder of my grandmother and of the great sense of achievement and happiness I feel about finishing this stage of the project.

Ciao, amici i buon anno!
Paola

Utter and complete slothfulness

Just got back from three days lounging and reading and bonding with my nephews upstate--when I get there, something overtakes me and I just want to lie on the couch with a blanket over me and read and nap. I also took some very long walks. It was SUCH the book recovery plan that I needed. Also spent a day and night with my cousins Terri, her husband Marty and their two kids, Glenn and Charlotte. Was great to connect with relatives I really like and don't see enough! We all used to spend time together regularly at my grandparent's house in Chelsea, Massachusetts, hiding in closets and sneaking up to the attic and jumping on beds until we finally, inevitably broke one. My cousin Howie and I, used to hide in closets and pretend we were vampires and scare my younger sister. I was not always the nicest older sister in the world, I admit.
Ciao amici, and have good holidays and Christmas cheer if that's what you happen to be celebrating.
Paola

The next best thing to a working fireplace

This is my week to enjoy heirlooms. This candelabra belonged to my father's parents, and for a while, it was sitting in a box on my book shelf, caked in black tarnish. So I sucked it up and brought it to a jeweler and had it professionally polished ($65!) and now I can enjoy it. It lends a little class to my humble pad.
I also picked up the ring I designed using the same grandmother's engagement ring. It is some SERIOUS bling and I have to get used to it on my finger. Sparkly. Shiny. BIG. (The diamond that is.) It feels a bit unseemly. But I think I'll get used to it (I hope).

Had a lovely, celebratory day yesterday, part of my two week post-book celebration. Went to Sports Club L.A. with my friend Millicent and we spent a good part of the day there, getting massages, sitting in the jacuzzi and working out. It was quite lovely and luxurious. Today, more lounging, some exercise, a bit of socializing, holiday card writing (which I never do, but I'm determined to get cards off to all of my writers--it's a professional duty!) and other assorted responsibilities with a dose of debauchery mixed in.

Ciao amici!
Paola

A new low

SELF had it's annual holiday party the other night, at the bowling lanes at Chelsea Piers. Lots of flashing videos, computerized scoring, dance music and an open bar. Perhaps that's why I bowled one of my lowest scores ever: a 49! How embarrassing!

A poet is born

My nephew, Jordan, (on the left) wrote this beautiful poem for an assignment at school on identity. All I can say is, it gave me chills. Then again, I'm the ultra prejudiced aunt.

I Am From the Stars
I am from staying up late and watching the stars dancing in my eyes. I am from the trout at the end of the fishing line. I am from the arrows thumping into the target.

I am from stepping outside and being in my own playground. I am from sitting in a hammock and going to sleep. I am from the rain coming down and stinging the grass. I am from my grandpa telling me that with 5 cents you could buy 2 comic books, one shake and two gum balls.

I am from those good fast food restaurants. I am from hearing the construction on the 20-story buildings. I am from hearing the subway cars go by.

Pragmatic sensualism--it's a philosophy!

I hate winter but I love that in New York City, the tulips start appearing (in vats outside Korean deli's, that is) this time of year. I love the colors and how the shape of the arrangement morphs as the stems get longer, like an evolving sculpture. And the cheap side of me loves that they last almost a week if you cut them and change the water every day or two (kind of like taking care of a cat, I'd imagine).

This is holiday party season. I always feel as if I should take advantage of the opportunities to go to parties and mingle, but somehow it feels like an obligation instead of something fun. I'd rather go to parties that just crop up at unexpected times of the year, like my "beat the february blahs" party a few years ago. Not to pat myself on my own back, or anything.

Got a new watch today--a great deal on the web--a new, $300 Swiss Army watch on Amazon for $125 with free shipping. A bargain! Now, I can buy a serious watch (Omega? Cartier? Tag Hauer, which I am oddly attracted to.) I seem to be drawn toward both Italian and German design; both are streamlined with high quality materials, but German design is utilitarian taken to a high art while Italian is sensuality taken to a high art. Kind of sums up the dual parts of my personality--the pragmatic sensualist. That's what I am.

Ciao i baci amici--

Paola

A life of leisure, langor and lust

(Only kidding about the lust part, mom and dad.) So, I handed the book in a week and a day ago and I haven't experienced a giant, post-baby let-down. I still feel incrediby happy simply having done it, though the part I dread is coming up: the marketing part. I fear it for some reason. So, I'm giving myself a few weeks not to think about anything serious like that and am taking the opportunity to hang out with friends (that's the Off-Road Girls, above, simultaneously celebrating books and birthdays at my pad this past weekend.)

I'm still on a me-me-me buying spree; waiting to get a ring that I designed back from the jewelers, using a diamond from my grandmother's engagement ring. It seems an apt thing to do in celebration of the birth of my book (or the handing-in part, anyway). How long is it socially acceptable to celebrate?

Ciao amici!

Paola

Just hit SEND

I sent the book in this afternoon at approximate 2:30 p.m. Wow. I can't believe it. I'm so happy with it. I think it tells some amazing stories. Stats: 110,000 words, 359 pages, 29 contributors (not including me, in the intro!). I feel great. I wish I could go to a spa for the day tomorrow, but it's work, work, work! I want to play, play, play!

What comes next now that this phase is over? I just have to open myself up to the fates.

Ciao amici--

Paola

Premature reward-ation

I'm turning in the book on Monday! I can't believe it. I'm almost, almost there, all the essays in and edited or nearly so--just 2 more need any revising. Starting to get feedback, which has all been positive, but then again, I've only given it to those who are inclined to react that way. I'll wait for the criticism when it's public, in the newspaper. YIKES. I've had all kinds of negative review fantasies and I'm sure I'll have many, many more before the actual reviews come out.

In any case, I wrote the headline for this blog in reference to the fact that I have been feeling extremely celebratory this week, and have been doing indulgent things like filling the house with roses (not as expensive as it sounds!), shopping for a serious watch (they were much nicer in Fortunoff's than in Tourneau, I'll tell you that) and basically spending a bunch of money before I actually have it.

But, the biggest reward, I think, has been the chance to do this book, throw myself into a project I feel passionately about, that enabled me to live in Rome for two months, and allowed me to work with all of these smart, amazing writers who are brave enough to make their sex life available for public consumption. That deserves a bouquet of roses or two, no?

Ciao amici--

Paola

P.S. Also booked a trip to a spa in Utah today--it's called Red Mountain Spa, it's near Bryce and Zion and it's amazing--and a bizarrely incredible value: $250 a day, including all meals and $100 toward a treatment. That's me on the balcony in front of our room last december. I was happy at that very moment, but it really strikes me: BOY am I happier now than I was at this time last year.

Friends, family, turkey

Life is looking up. I have ALL my essays in--I'm waiting for one major revision and two fairly minor revisions and the last two essays were/will be AMAZING. Really kicked the book up another notch. (It's nice to be able to brag and not feel cocky, since I didn't actually write these essays.) The end of the book is near. What lies ahead? This is the part I feel I have control over, but people's reactions to it? No control. I need to thicken up my famously thin skin and get ready for criticism, never my strong point. I have to learn how to talk about sex, my reasons for doing this book, without any embarrassment. (Good thing I didn't think of all this before I did the book or I would never have done it.)

Just before the holiday, got to spend some good, quality time with my oldest friend Ricki (we met when we were both in 5th grade and have been friends ever since, no betrayals, double crossings or major fights in 34 years); that's her above, with her bluer than blue eyes, in our lame attempt to photograph ourselves.

Turkey Day was lovely--long walks in 66 degree weather, pumpkin soup, out-of-this-world stuffing (thanks for my talented brother-in-law) and lots of snuggling with my nephews. We also did some archery, sat by the wood-burning stove, read tons and tons and tons (I had a galley of a collection of love stories put together by Dave Eggers, which will be coming out in a few months. What an incredible collection of stories, especially the last one, by Alice Munroe, which made me cry. How amazing to be so drawn in to a story that is only 20 pages long).

Then, last night, back home in NYC again, I saw my friend Pam's new baby, Alec, who, at nearly six weeks, is starting to smile and interact--then coaxed Pam out of the apartment to bar Veloce, where we had some Tuscan reds and panini. Pefecto.

A nice start to the holiday season.

Ciao amici!

Paola

Still ailing. It's a sad, sad, world

I have not stepped out of my apartment in two solid days. I'm LONELY and GRUMPY and FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF. Waaaaah! I have a chest cold. That's why I have no new photos to post, so am posting a cheery one from the Cinque Terre. I love my apartment and couch and laptop, but I am feeling as if I'm morphing into my apartment and couch and laptop. Am I allowed to vent on this blog? VENT! VENT! VENT! HARUMPH.

Okay. Got that out of my system a little. Now I am going to lie in bed and do the New York Magazine crossword puzzle, which makes me feel smart, because I can finish it every time. Crossword puzzles are good for insomnia (which I may have, since I've done nothing but lie around for several days) because they focus your attention but don't engage you enough to stimulate you--at least, that's what they do for me.

Buona notte amici. I hope you are all having better nights than I.
Ciao...
Paola

Convalescing

I stayed home from work today, glued to my couch, tissues and glass of water within reach. No fun at all. It's funny how, when I'm sick, I mostly don't want company, but simultaneously do. I do like having my bed to myself when I'm sick, though--no worries about waking anyone with snuffling or coughing. Gotta take comfort in the small things!

Ciao--

Buona notte!

Paola

Material goods

Certain people (who shall go nameless but they know who they are) have been agitating for me to blog more frequently, so here I am again, despite the fact that the book is due in THREE weeks, perfectly in conjunction with a month at work where I have close to 3 times the stories as usual (we're doing a special section on body image/finding your happy weight). I think I have it under control.

Here's what remains to be done:

1. Get revisions for one essay by Martha Southgate on emotional affairs
2. Get first drafts of essay by Lauren Slater and Hope Edelman (wish I knew how to link to these folks but I have reached my techno-blogosphere limit, at least without access to patient human instruction.
3. Once all the essays are in, I want to staple each story together, then experiment with moving them around in sequence, so I can figure out the best "flow." This feels most challenging to me because I've never done anything like it before, but I'm just trying to use my editing sense on a more macro level--kind of like an editor in chief of a magazine focusing on the editorial and visual mix.
4. Give a sharp eye to all the titles of the essays and make sure they're the most compelling and provocative and true they can be (yet also unexpected).
5. Do final little edit polishes throughout--this is the part I know I'm going to get OCD about.
6. Finish author bio page.
7. Email it in on December 3rd.
8. Celebrate? Celebrate! But how?

Well, conveniently enough, I have a list of ever-more-tangible ideas about how I want to celebrate completing the book. (sob! I don't want it to be over!! I don't want it to be over!!! What if my life gets boring afterward when I don't get to talk and think about sex every day! :-) (Mom and dad, if you're reading, I'm kidding!)

Anyways, here are a few things I dream of buying with the teeny-tiny little pile I'll have by the time I'm finished with this:

1. A real, grown-up, serious, maxium-impact with maximum understatement watch. I'm thinking Tag heur, stainless, round face (hopefully with military in addition to regular numbering which works very well for me in places like Rome). And maybe a few discreet diamonds (four?). So, we'll see how something like that costs--I've kind of been afraid to find out.
2. Another throw or even a full blanket by Smith & Warren in cashmere--in a really fantastic color.
3. 20 sessions with a personal trainer
4. A 4 day spa trip to Red Mountain spa

That's it. Does that seem excessive? It kind of does to me, so I'm only going to do all of it if the book sells enough (25,000 copies) for me to get a bonus. Sounds like a plan to me! Do I seem too materialistic? It's weird to talk about what I want to buy.

Ciao amici!

Paola

Aunthood rules!

Here I am with my best friend's new baby, Alec, at 3 weeks old or so. There ain't nothing like holding a newborn; he snoozed on my chest for about 2 hours. Comfy!

Ciao--

Zia Paola

It's ironic

I'm 44 and single, and living a totally different life than all my friends with infants and toddlers (most of them). Being a parent seems REALLY hard--I am savoring my freedom right now. It's nice to be able to appreciate something as you are experiencing it.

Ciao! Buona notte--

Paola

P.S.

The cuties above are well out of the difficult infant stage: That's my adorable and sweet nephew Jordan, 10, with his best friend Asher (making the face) and Levi (with the curly long hair, all the rage among 9 year olds these days. It's very cute.

How is it that I've acquired...

4 loads of laundry in practically as many days. It's not as if I'm rolling in mud or anything. Maybe I'm clean freak.
So, I've been lax in updating, particularly since I had such a lovely weekend in the Catskills with my friends MP, her husband Matthew and their cute, genius-baby Connor. (One of his first words was "exactly" at age 9 months.) Now he's 13 months and on to things like bark (like on a tree), clock and, of course, Daddy, which is what he was calling me by the end of the weekend. I took it as a compliment.

I also got a great taste of small-town life: My friend MP recently wrote a book called Money Can Buy Happiness and she had a book-signing last Saturday to raise funds for the local library. The whole neighborhood showed up despite the fact that it was pouring rain, and she raised around $400.

Dating continues, enjoyment continues. Life gets better in the 40s. It really does.
Ciao--
Paola
Read about MP's fabulous book on Amazon--I'd put the link here if I could figure out how. I'm still a Luddite (or, at least, profoundly techno-challenged,) despite the blog.

The Wild and Wooly Democracy of Craig's List

For the last six months or so, I have been dating people I've met on Craig's List, (abbreviated henceforth as CL)and it's been such an interesting, fun, kind of amazing experience. Much more positive than sites like Match and Nerve and J date. I have a theory about CL, which I am spreading far and wide:
That most people log on to buy or sell a couch or find an apartment, then happen to wander over to the women-seeking-men section "just to browse." So, you end up with a wider cross section of people who are less likely to just obsessively troll dating sites, like kids in a candy store. You also get more variation in terms of age, ethnicity, nationality and in general a quirkier more intellectual more artistically-minded crowd.

That said, there are drawbacks:
1) You have to be very, very, VERY selective. Very. For instance, I usually get 80 or 100 responses to an ad (incredibly ego-gratifying, even if 99 percent are crazies). Of those, maybe I respond to 10, and end up talking to maybe 3 and meeting maybe two. So, process of selection is rigorous but the results are superior.
2) 99 percent are crazies
3) You have to risk exposing your email and photos to a bunch of crazies. Thus the selectivity.

Anyway, all I'm saying is that CL rocks! I'm having a great time and meeting very cool people. Who knew?

Ciao amici--
Paola
P.S.
I don't have any fun photos so I put up one of my favorites from Procida. Una isola bella.

An off-road-girl gets married!

Caroline got married today at Riverbank State Park, right on the mighty Hudson, as my nephews call it. The bride looked lovely in Prada as well as a traditional Korean wedding kimono-type dress. I got to schmooze with some editors, play with MP and Matthew's cute baby, and ride on the top of a double decker tour bus. It was a lot of fun--makes me want to take one of those around NYC--maybe I will do it with Jordan and Caleb. Tonight, more fun in store. Not to be recorded on this blog.
Ciao--
Paola